I had a moment today that served to sweep away some of my impatience and mental debris. I was feeling lazy so I pulled out a lounge chair and plopped down in the driveway to keep an eye on my daughter while my husband cut the grass. I was still in my p.j.'s with my latest novel in my lap, making sure Jordan didn't run into the lawn or eat her sidewalk chalk when she came up in a clear bid for attention. I wrote her name on the driveway and then made a little mark on her leg. I knew immediately that it was a bad move; she's at the 'monkey see, monkey do' stage.
Sure enough, she took the hot pink chalk and drew a line on her thigh. I told her to draw on the driveway, but I was smiling so I doubt I was using an authoritative voice. She smiled back at me, that beautiful incorrigible smile of hers and made another line on her leg with the green chalk. Then it was the purple, then the blue, and so on. I continued to tell her to draw on the ground but by then I was laughing so she simply drew some more. We sat there, smiling at one another, in one of those perfect moments.
I thought about getting my camera, or at least my cell phone, but I was afraid I would spoil the moment. I would love to have a tangible memory of Jordan, grinning, with her cheek and her leg covered in a rainbow of color. I decided I'd rather simply be, actually experiencing that moment, instead of rushing to try to capture it imperfectly. And I'm glad I stayed put. Because that moment was perfect and I will remember it without a picture. And I needed that reminder of why I do what I do. There is no joy in motherhood if I never stop to enjoy actually being a mother.
1 comment:
Some moments are just burned into my brain, hard wired so to speak, so I see them whenever I think of them. I suspect this moment will be one of those for you. Although it's funny; I can't predict what will stick and what won't.
Nicely written. I could see it myself.
Post a Comment