I have not always been the model wife. I have not always lived up to my end of the bargain. Not that he has been perfect, but I am responsible only for myself. Somewhere around the 2 year mark we hit the wall, metaphorically speaking. Since then things have dramatically improved. I believe I was too young to get married (21) and had an unrealistic idea of what it would be like. We also didn't know one another nearly well enough to embark on this lifelong journey together.
Yet somehow we have made it work. We have made it work quite well, I might add. I will attribute our success to love, determination, flexibility, lots of support, a heck of a lot of hard work, and the ability to see the humor in the non humorous. I cannot tell you how many times I would have thrown my hands up and cried defeat if it weren't for our ability to laugh at life.
My father has always been quite free with the advice to my sister and me about what sort of man to marry and what things should be non negotiable. I ignored a bit of it and claimed most of it for my own. When my daughter (and whomever else may come along) is older, I will add this bit of advice for her: never choose to spend your life with someone who isn't able to make you laugh.
One day I will be old, as will my husband. We will no longer be sexy young things (I actually typed that with a straight face). Our talents and abilities will fade somewhat with age. Yet when we are beautifully old and wrinkled and gray, he will still be able to make me laugh. That may be his most attractive feature. It's difficult to say because he has so many. He and I have dealt with many heavy issues in our young marriage, and we have managed to laugh our way through them. Not to say we haven't shed our share of tears because we have. But there has to be a balance. And there are some things that you simply must laugh at because the alternative is too depressing. I am fortunate that we share that personal view.
I truly am blessed because he's as wonderful a father as he is a husband. He loves his little girl to pieces and it's obvious to anyone that he is wrapped around her pudgy little finger. He doles out love and discipline (he doesn't try to be the good guy to my bad guy), changes dirty diapers and gives baths. He also thanks me on a regular basis for being such a wonderful mother to his daughter. Today it's my turn to say thanks.
Happy Fathers' Day.
4 comments:
Congratulation to you for being able to make the appropriate changes so as to have a better lives. Thanks for sharing and I am very happy for you all.
Have a lovely weekend,
Lots of wise words here. You have the wisdom to realise that life will not always be easy and none of us is perfect. I understand how you feel. I too 'hit the wall' after two years of marriage ""Is this it??"" but went on to be married for a further 34 years to the same bloke. Like you say, you definitely need a sense of humour, that carries you both through the hard times. You have a lovely family, treasure it and have many more years of happiness.
Thank you for the comments on my Blog.
Blessings, Star
That's beautiful. Really good marriages take constant nurturing. Love the laughter! Peace.
That was lovely. And, I might add, you have excellent advice and insight to pass on to your daughter and anyone else who may come along... how true, looks, sexy and youth will pass, but the ability to make one laugh will last a lifetime!
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