So, for the first time in a long time I am taking time for myself. I am just over a week into the detox, and a great deal has changed. I'm not sure how many of these changes will become permanent; time will tell. What's interesting is that so little of what has changed has to do with what I put in my mouth.
I get up in the morning, and my day begins like usual: getting the kids up, changing diapers (yes, you read that correctly-diapers. As in plural. Jordan is the stubbornest shit ever.), fixing breakfasts, etc. Then my routine shifts. Instead of fixing myself a lovely cup of coffee with creamer I fix a cup of Yerba Mate tea. Instead of grabbing a banana I either dump my protein and fiber powders into a cup of water or into the blender with the fixings for a smoothie. It kind of depends on how hungry I am and how much I feel like washing the blender.
Come lunch time I no longer eat whatever is quickest and easiest. I take the time to fix myself something healthy and (hopefully) delicious because this is the one actual meal I have each day. In the afternoons I try to exercise or nap, depending on what my body seems to need. After Chase gets home I try to take the dog for a walk, getting a little time to myself. Sometimes all four of us take Cody for his walk while others I load up the kids, the stroller and the dog and meet my girlfriend for a long walk.
Dinner varies, particularly with the weather getting nicer. I usually fix myself something while I'm cooking dinner for them, either soup or another smoothie. A couple of times it has been hectic and I've not fixed myself anything until after their dinner is over. That has only happened when I wasn't hungry to start with. I think tomorrow night I'm going to try to fix something that I can eat as well and just save my portion for the next days' lunch.
After the kids go to bed I fight the demons, the 'Cookie Monsters' as my father calls them. Terrible cravings, not for anything in particular but rather for anything and everything. I obviously have a bad habit of snacking at night! There are some days it hasn't been so bad, others when I've been a raging bitch about it. Then I go to bed, sleep like a rock and arise to begin again.
I've learned quite a bit so far about my eating habits and my relationship with food. I'm figuring out the whys of my eating habits; it's been enlightening. I've also fingered some of my triggers for mindless snacking (being tired, primarily, or, in a social situation I use food the way others use a drink). I have discovered how much I ate in comparison to how much I need to eat; it's ridiculous how much difference there is between the two. I've rediscovered how fun it can be to cook and to play with recipes. It makes me not mind so much the increase in the number of dishes I'm washing! Connor seems to like everything he's tried so far while Jordan does't like any of it. Chase won't even try it, though he has sniffed a couple of dishes before declaring them toxic. He's a picky eater...
I have realized that there is life after sugar, something I'd feared wasn't the case. It's amazing what you begin to taste once you get rid of the crap and get down to the basics. I've found new foods to eat and thoroughly enjoyed the process. I've been experimenting with juicing, finding that a great way to incorporate more vegetables than I'd otherwise be able to eat in a day. I'm also drinking the prescribed amount of water, or at least getting close, which has me peeing as often as a pregnant woman.
Don't get me wrong, this has been hard in a lot of ways. It's been emotionally draining at times and physically draining at others. I have had to resort to a lot of my alcohol rehab techniques at times just to stick with it. I keep reminding myself that I chose to do this, and I am doing it for myself. This is making me feel better on so many levels, mental, physical, emotional. It's not been some miraculous overnight change, but I wouldn't trust it if it had been.
There's more I could say about it all, but I'm tired...Time to rest this healing body.
4 comments:
I wonder if you ate a sugary thing would it taste really awful? I heard somewhere that it does.
I seriously need to try that experiment! :)
You are going so well!
It's not easy to be as active as you are, as focused on your kids and life in general and NOT snack mindlessly. When you remove that from your life, it becomes immediately obvious. I still suffer from the desire to eat at night, the rest of the day pretty much takes care of itself.
How long will you be on this? I don't remember but I'll be interested to hear how you feel after a while. I haven't had sugar for so long I don't miss it one bit, BTW.
My daughter does these fairly often. Not a bad idea, if for no other reason to find out what your relationship with food really is all about, just as you mentioned in this post. Good luck.
It does sound a lot like hard work and I really don't think it would work for me. I seem to be in need of constant feeding just to keep going otherwise I get shaky, dull, lethargic and weak! Pathetic I think but there it is. I am really good at maintaining my weight but I would like to lose about 10 lbs ideally. I know you aren't doing the detox for weight reasons and all the fluid is sure to e good for your kidneys, but do take care and don't overdo it.
I think what helps me is that I do all my eating in the mornings. After 1 pm I'm not really interested and never snack in the evenings. That's my natural way so I suppose I'm lucky.
Reading the other posts, re sugar, here is an experiment to try.
Eat an orange every day. At first it may taste a little bitter and difficult to eat, but after a week has gone by it will taste sweet and then when you eat real sugar, it will taste AWFUL.
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