My husband commented the other night that something he said to me in anger and irritation years ago was deserved. I didn't really respond because we were around other people and I didn't want to cause one of those awkward "oh hell, she's not happy, what now?" kind of moments. I didn't say anything later either. I was trying to figure out just why that statement struck me so badly. It wasn't because of the implication that I was being a pain in the butt. Honestly, after so long that doesn't really matter.
It took me awhile, but I finally figured it out. It bothered me because I don't believe there is ever a good time to intentionally hurt someone. Never. I thought about it long and hard and I could not come up with one single solitary scenario where I thought it appropriate to be cruel. It was the implication that I was annoying so I deserved to be verbally lashed that really pushed my buttons.
I'm certainly not saying that I haven't struck out at others in pain or anger. I've done it often. And it has never served to improve the situation or the relationship or the emotions. So I've decided that I shall strive to be more aware of my words and actions and of the emotion that is prompting those words and actions. And I shall strive to choose kindness. And love.
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