Growing up

I signed Jordan up for preschool today.  I can't believe my baby is old enough to go to preschool.  She's really excited, chanting "I go to school," while I shake my head in amazement.  It's one of those programs where she goes twice a week from 9 to 12.  It is meant to be a learning program, not a daycare.  We initially wanted her to go because she needs the socialization as well as the time away from me.  After touring the facility a couple of weeks ago I began to see how truly beneficial this will be for her.  Of course, having 6 hours a week in which to run errands or schedule appointments will benefit me and Connor as well.  

I just can't quite wrap my head around the fact that she's going to be in school...It's just another reminder of how quickly time passes.  It seems like just a few months ago that she started running around.  This time last year she wasn't even talking, and now she can tell me "Pick my baby brother up.  He's crying again."  I feel like if I blink she'll be grown.

I feel as though I'm being pulled in two directions.  There's the part of me that wants to hold Jordan's hand and help her over, through, around any sort of uncertainty or fear or awkwardness.  Then there's the part of me that knows I have to step back and let her do it on her own, for how else will she learn?  I just want to shield my child from all of the painful moments, yet I know that's impossible.  Those uncomfortable and painful moments are what will shape her, what will build her character, and what will allow her to grow.  Ultimately it is more loving to step back and cheer her on as she makes her way.  I imagine that the struggle to do so is one that I'll face many times.

Connor has discovered his hands today.  He sat there, wide eyed, just staring at his fingers, occasionally grabbing one hand with the other.  It's so calming to watch him.  Unless he's hungry he doesn't do anything in a hurry.  I think I've forgotten that talent.  Maybe I should add working on that to my to-do list...Of course, I get lots of quiet time cooing at him or trying to coax smiles.  On the fat front, we're making progress.  I'll work on getting a good picture of his roly poly thighs!  

Look at my gorgeous baby girl.  She looks so solemn here, which is really quite unusual when the camera is out.  

Here he is with his daddy, intent on his newly discovered hands.  I'll admit they're fascinating appendages.

He's practicing dexterity.  He actually managed to grab his rattle with his fists.

This was exercise time this afternoon.  Jordan seems unwilling to let Connor play on his mat without lying down with him.  He's got his "I look completely surprised" face on and she's talking a mile a minute.  I still can't believe that I grew these kids.  Freaking amazing.