No Dumping Allowed!

I need a break.  I'm hoping Thanksgiving provides a platform from which I can rebalance myself.  When my dad was in for Ashley's wedding we went to Barnes and Noble just to look around.  I found myself walking out with a book entitled "The Law of the Garbage Truck" by David J. Pollay.  It's a quick read with basic information on how to keep people from dumping their garbage on you and keep you from dumping your garbage on others.  It was just the message I needed at this point in time.  Now, if only I could implement it!

I am not sure what it is about me that says "Yes, please, share all your troubles with me."  I seem to get it all, work worries, health concerns, relationship troubles, and assorted random issues.  Perhaps I invite this by being sympathetic, understanding, and willing to listen.  I'm not sure exactly how to change that.  Unfortunately for me, I feel like I'm being blasted with negativity from every direction.  It is causing me to have trouble putting on my happy face, and it's definitely affecting my parenting skills.

Obviously I need to put a stop to this.  I need to find a way to say no to being the repository for everyone else's trash.  I need to figure out how to not be the sounding board every time for those closest to me.  If I don't, I may end up being so resentful that I cease finding any pleasure in these relationships.

I'm non confrontational by nature.  I prefer not to rock the boat, and I hate to hurt people's feelings.  Still, it seems that it's easy to slip from non confrontational to cowardly.  There are times when certain situations or behaviors need to be addressed.  I know that it doesn't have to be ugly; I can present my complaint kindly.  Still, I know these people well enough to predict their responses.  That's what is holding me back.  I've given myself pep talks to no avail.  I keep telling myself that I cannot control how well a message is received, only how lovingly it is sent.  Or, along the same lines, I can't control how another reacts, only how I act.

If I don't want to continue being dragged down by other people's unhappiness, I have to straighten my shoulders, put on my big girl britches, and say No More.  Either that or misplace my phone.  Wish me luck or feel free to offer tips.  I'll take all the help I can get.

We leave in the morning to drive to my mom's for a couple of days and then head to my cousin's for our annual gathering.  I'm hoping to spend some quality time with my family and get lots of rest.  Not to mention all the laughter I'm anticipating with my cousins.  I'll have to fill you in on bit on the bunch.  Maybe my next post...

What are your plans for the holiday?